Revolution Ultra-blue

It's been ages since I or anyone else has posted on here. I'd rather post here than make some bulletin on MySpace anyways.

It's fast approaching month 12 of 15 here for me. Time is flying, yet at the same time it's moving disturbingly slow. It's weird because since this is my first deployment, it's the only example of deployments that I really have. Hell, anything less than a year would seem like a fieldtrip, and I've got some friends that had deployed after me and are already home.

I'm not sure what it's going to be like coming back home -- Hard, I know it. But after being in this sort of rhythm for this long, I'm sure it'll be weird coming back to the states and working with a "normal" training schedule, you know? All the while I've been trying to maintain some semblance of a "normal" lifestyle anyways, in terms of keeping in touch with friends back home and whatnot. Tryin to be a normal 20-something when at this point my life is anything but the norm.

I'm just as nervous as I am anxious to come home...

Man. How time flies.

I apologize for not making any sort of update in awhile, even though none of you fruitcakes that read this have posted either, pfft. Anyways. I'm obviously back from leave which was, btw, wonderful. Unlike most of the guys that go on leave, I didn't choose to spend it going everywhere and partying or clubbing, etc. It was nice. It was relaxed. I will admit, however, that I didn't really get around to doing some of the things Jennie and I had talked about doing... Aquarium, concerts, lake, seeing some people.

It's kind of weird how things play out, you know? You spend all your time wanting to do things and talking about doing things, but... You never really get around to doing them, do you? Maybe not *you*, whoever you are. But us, as people. Maybe I read my last post (below this) a couple times too many. Maybe I've gotten used to that sort of concept - Not really doing what I think I want to do. Or hell, maybe I was just enjoying the calm pace of leave. I'm willing to suspect that maybe I felt a little overwhelmed being back home, you know? Not used to having so many things to do, haha. Regardless, I enjoyed leave. Waking up in my pj's that Jennie bought me and tip-toeing in to smooch her awake was the most wonderful 20 minutes a day that I've had in about nine months! ^__^
It got a little hectic for me though, I'll admit. "Whatcha wanna do today?" was actually a really tough question, lol. Go see friends? Lounge around at home? Blow some cash at ________? I did a bit of that, lol. [shakes fist @ Best Buy]

So I bought a digital camera on leave, and I've got a decent amount of pictures from it. I'll get around to resizing and hosting them soon enough so I won't be a no-pictures-on-my-blog-site newb anymore. Not that it matters, seeing as NONE OF YOU have posted in like a month [glares].

I'll figure out something else to write later. This was a trial for me, lol.

Originally from here

"Meant to post this a few days ago in response to Dean's QotD, "What does it mean to live well?" Not a bad QotD as these go--I applaud the optimism embedded therein--but in general I prefer to poke a stick at what we're doing wrong since there's so much more of that going around. So... Why do people settle? Not even old or infirm, we give up the dream of working at a job that we love or at least find interesting. We neglect talents and activities that inspire us and others in favor of chores that we merely feel are necessary. We sink into one passionless relationship after another (or stay in the same one for years) and tell ourselves that finding a real connection with someone amazing was never going to happen anyway. We elect George W. Bush to the Presidency of the United States. Twice.

Are we lazy? Do we lack imagination? Do we really think so little of ourselves? What's going on here? Life is so short. Literally. I watch windows of opportunity open and shut all around me, every day, for people I care about--smart, caring, gifted people--and I want to grab them by the collar and yell, Move your ass. Do it now. You think you have forever to get your shit together? No. This is it. You can be happy. Go.

It isn't fear, is it? Because there's nothing left to fear. We're already in it."

Go on. Ask yourself.

It's finally come, my mid-tour leave. I'm only a few days out and I've already got my IBA stripped, some things in my assault pack. Now, it's just the waiting game.

hmm. It always comes down to waiting, doesn't it?

To be honest, I'm really relieved that I'll be able to be around for Jennie with everything that she's got to contend with right now. She deserves to know that there's someone who's willing to listen or just help take her mind off everything, even if only for a little while. I love ya, babe. Just hang tight a little bit more and before you know it, I'll be walking right into your waiting arms.

At least we'll be able to help keep each other sane for another two weeks, right? XD

And SARA! That's right, bish. I'm talking to you. Your happy ass better be local while I'm in town, otherwise I'm gonna whoop yo' ass, ho! Haha, the last and potentially most lol memory with you was when the three of us were trying to watch 40 Year Old Virgin @ your house and somehow we just ended up ninjapiling all over each other. Oh, and you two fruits got a picture of me wearing some gay boa (or whatever that was). Gah!

I like to think I've worked hard enough to earn at least two weeks of my own time. And lord knows, I'm looking forward to it.

Tell us about an event that changed your life forever.
Submitted by Miss Scotch.

Well. Changing my life would single-handedly have to go to the death of my father when I was ~13. Those days were a whirlwind for me, as I was in the midst of Junior High and becoming a teenager with all the ensuing complications. My father was a good father, even if he and my mother had some relationship struggles. In the end I know they both loved each other, because he was always there for her, and she was with him to and through the end.

The growing up after all that is what changed me. As I said before, I was a fresh teenager at that point and going through all the hardships that come with that whole overrated process of "growing up", lol. I believe, in retrospect, that I quickly formed a pretty solid barrier about it. I wasn't necessarily depressed, but I seemed to get past it fairly easily. No real breakdowns or anything like that. The real impact of those times is likely affecting me now, nine years later as I'm making my valiant attempt at a stable adulthood. The responsibilities of teaching me how to be a man fell to my two older brothers, and one of them was across the country in the Army. My oldest brother was still local, but he led a fairly busy life, so it was only here and there that we could spend time. Although to his credit, he's been an excellent older brother, and an all around solid male figure in my life. My father would be proud of all of us.

I miss him. I miss the possibility that he and I could be sittin back and bullshitting about life-so-far, now that I'm 22.

I'm surprisingly tired of writing about this topic after all these years.